Charlie Bumpers vs. the Really Nice Gnome Read online

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  There was going to be a costume contest at school the day of Halloween, and I wanted to win. Then Tommy and I could go to the movie five times together. Or maybe I would take someone else, too. Like Hector, who sits next to me in Mrs. Burke’s fourth-grade class.

  “You want to come to my house for trick-or-treating?” I asked.

  “I’ll have to bring Carla if I come,” Tommy said.

  Carla is Tommy’s little sister. She’s in first grade, just like my sister Mabel, and they’re best friends, too. My dad calls Mabel “Squirt,” but I call her “the Squid” because it’s funnier.

  “I know,” I said. “I always have to take the Squid around. We could do it together.”

  “I guess,” Tommy said. “The only problem with Carla is she slows me down. I can never get to as many houses as I want. And when our mom or dad goes with us, they stop and talk to the grown-ups handing out the candy. It’s worse than going to the supermarket with them. It takes forever.”

  “Exactly!” I said.

  “Too bad we can’t go by ourselves,” Tommy said.

  “And it’s too bad we can’t go in a neighborhood where the houses are really big and everyone hands out large candy bars.”

  “Right!” said Tommy, getting more excited. “The bigger the houses, the bigger the candy bars! Then maybe we’d have to carry extra bags for when the first ones got filled up. That would be stupendous.”

  “Terrific!” I said.

  “Stupific!” Tommy said.

  “Stupific!” I repeated. “That’s hilarious.”

  “Stupific!” we both said at the same time.

  “Wait!” Tommy said. “Maybe your brother Matt could take Carla and Mabel around, and we could go to a different neighborhood by ourselves!”

  “Maybe,” I said. But I wondered if Matt would really take two first graders out trick-or-treating. Anyway, the Squid usually wanted to do things with me.

  “Hey!” Alex MacLeod ran up, bouncing a ball a million miles an hour. He’s a nice guy, but very hyper. Very, very hyper.

  “What are you guys doing for Halloween?” Alex asked, still bouncing.

  “Trick-or-treating,” Tommy said. “Duh.”

  Alex lost the ball and ran to retrieve it. When he bounced it back our way, I caught it and held on to it. He didn’t seem to notice.

  “You wanna come to my house?” he asked. “I’m going to have a sleepover. We’ll go out trick-or-treating in my neighborhood, then watch horror movies. It’ll be great.”

  Tommy and I looked each other. A dream come true. We knew where Alex lived—his house was really big, and his neighborhood was full of other big houses. Every one of them was probably loaded with tons of candy.

  Carla and Mabel the Squid wouldn’t be there. Tons of candy! Heaven on earth on Halloween!

  Tommy and I smiled at each other.

  “Sure,” I said.

  “How many bags should we bring?” Tommy asked.

  “As many as you want,” Alex said. “It’s going to be awesome. And I’m going to get some really scary movies.”

  “I love horror movies,” Tommy said.

  “I hope we can get The Shrieking Skull,” Alex said. “It’s the scariest horror movie ever!”

  “Fantastic!” Tommy said.

  “Ask your parents if you can come,” Alex said. “We’ll eat candy and pizza until we throw up and then watch movies and scream like crazy.”

  “Stupific!” Tommy said.

  “Super stupific,” I said.

  Halloween with friends. Lots of candy. All of it was really stupific.

  Except for one thing.

  I HATE horror movies.

  BILL HARLEY is the author of the award-winning middle reader novels The Amazing Flight of Darius Frobisher and Night of the Spadefoot Toads. He is also a storyteller, musician, and writer who has been writing and performing for kids and families for more than twenty years. Harley is the recipient of Parents’ Choice and ALA awards, as well as two Grammy Awards. He lives in Massachusetts.

  www.billharley.com

  ADAM GUSTAVSON has illustrated many books for children, including Lost and Found; The Blue House Dog; Mind Your Manners, Alice Roosevelt!; and Snow Day! He lives in New Jersey.

  www.adamgustavson.com